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If it walks like a duck and it looks like a duck, the chances are she`s practising for her next selfie
I think that there are two things that we can all agree on: Boobs.
Plan B includes margaritas.
I’m still waiting for the episode of Storage Wars where there’s a homeless guy living in the unit.
The problem is I have just enough money to get into trouble but not enough to make bail.
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butts.
In paintball, you should be allowed to use a paintbrush as a knife.
and alcohol are now friends.
You`ll never see me on Hoarders because I can`t afford that much sh!t.
Falling in love when lonely is a lot like shopping when hungry, you end up with a bunch of sh!t you don`t need.
why do people with bad teeth always have a smile on there face
No, I do not want to talk about how I got all these scratches. On a completely unrelated note; If you`ve ever wondered how many squirrels fit in a pillowcase,,,.. it’s 9.
Not all men cheat. Some of you women just assume you’re in a relationship with the guy.
My Superpower is eating 5 times the "suggested serving" size.
If Milli Vanilli were to fall in the woods, would someone else make a sound?