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I do procrastinate more than I should, but it always gives me something to do tomorrow...
The United States is probably the only country in the world where people need energy drinks to sit in front of a computer all day.
If one of your life goals is to fight with someone about how to load a dishwasher, may I suggest marriage.
I`ve seen more pins in the last few days then stone cold steve austin on groundhog day..
It’s my favorite time of the day: How long can I stare directly at my monitor and do absolutely nothing o’clock.
Having a bit of a lazy day! I`m sitting in my underwear looking for better jobs online ... My boss doesn`t look amused.
She likes to call it a conversation, but mostly she`s gathering evidence.
The closest I`ve ever come to eating better is eating butter.
For men who think.."A women`s place is in the kitchen," Just remember, that`s where the Knives are kept!
Me: You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Her: You just want to have sex with me. Me: And you’re smart too, I like that.
I don`t know why they call it Everclear. I drink that stuff and everything is a blur.
I´m not insensitive, I just don´t care.
I am better off now than I was 4 beers ago...
Hi I was calling about the $300/hour part time job I read about in a sexy ad I saw on an illegal torrent site. Are you guys still hiring?
Monday?! But, I wasnt even finished with Saturday yet.