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I`ll never understand those people who say, "I mainly use facebook for my family." And I`m thinking to myself..."Umm...isn`t that what real life is for?"
Remember way back when the only thing that was annoying on your feed were game requests?
I may not have great parenting skills, but in my defense the kids don`t have great childing skills either.
Life would be so much more fun if there were random Dukes of Hazzard style car ramps along the drive to work.
Laugh now because when I die, I`m coming back to haunt you.
When I was your age, we had to walk ten miles in the snow to get drunk and have sā¬x.
I may or may not have just "Whipped my Hair Back and Forth".......
If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills, with a rubber band around it...... I found the rubber band.
Autocorrect is changing correctly spelled words. Iām starting to think it has a mind of its AUTOCORRECT IS HARMLESS. GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.
I was just thinking, which is the biggest thing I plan on accomplishing today.
If you don`t take 500 selfies a day, do you even love yourself?
Yea, there is no "I" in team... but there sure is "ME".
I wonder if there`s a margarita somewhere out there thinking about me, too.
Either I wrote a bunch of drunken Facebook status updates last night, or my dog has finally figured out the computer.
If only losing weight was as easy as losing my cell phone, my keys, my temper, or even my mind ... I`d be SO skinny!