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finally got my certification in the mail, I`m officially insane.
I hate buying feminine products! How am I supposed to know if this is the right kind of broom or not?
Yes we`re friends on facebook but that`s where it ends, stop trying to talk to me in real life... mom
"Baby on Board" Oh really? Thanks for letting me know. I was about to ram into your car but now I won`t.
We all have that one friend who always gives the best relationship advice , but is still single.
I`d like to thank (you know who) for the (you know what) I`ll talk to you later (you know where) and if I don`t (you know why).
I never sign anything until I pretend to read it first..
I think every Taco Bell value meal should be called a "Number 2".
"Is that for here or to go?" —Real estate agent selling a mobile home
The ideal man doesn`t smoke, doesn`t drink, doesn`t do drugs, doesn`t swear, doesn`t get angry, doesn`t exist
I just went into an AOL chat room to ask someone how to start a fire with sticks.
I`ve been hiding from exercise ... I`m in the fitness protection program.
Stop procrastinating. Join Hokey Pokey Anonymous today and turn that life around!
I just don`t think a partridge in a pear tree would make a great gift
Calories: the little creatures that go into your closet every night and hem the waistline of all your clothes inch by inch