Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Imagine being the sort of person who knows what every button on a TV remote does.
When girls wear yoga pants I feel like a ghost from Mario. Uncontrollably attracted when they turn away, but frozen when they look at me.
Some will forget, the others are simply women.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning.
Music that is meant to be played at a reasonable volume is completely pointless.
Stages of beard length: 1.) sexy stubble 2.) sea captain beard 3.) prisoner of war beard 4.) homeless person beard 5.) wizard beard
I really need to clean the house, but I`m thinking it`d be a lot faster to burn it down and start from scratch...
Why is this dude chatting with Jake from State Farm at three in the morning anyhow?
Whenever you`re feeling really bad about yourself just remember, there`s people that pay money to exercise.
That feeling you get when you meet someone named dick....
People are making Rapture jokes like there`s no tomorrow.....
POLITICS; from `poly` meaning `many and `Tics` meaning blood-sucking creatures. Just sayin`
I never run with scissors…those last two words were unnecessary.
If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, I`d never be bored again.
I wonder if pet products are tested on humans?