Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
India launched a rocket to Mars yesterday… That’s a heck of a place to put a call center.
Meditation never worked for me, so I tried something even better..."Beditation"! You lay down close your eyes and you wake up an hour and a half later!
Christmas came early this year! My neighbor just upgraded our internet speed... I mean his internet speed. Or whatever...
Movies are so unrealistic. This guy`s using his computer to access an alien ship & not once has it asked if he wants to upgrade his Adobe.
I have more conversations in my head than I do in real life.
If you think nobody cares if you´re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Shoutout to this ATM fee for making me buy my own money.
FYI: You can`t beat rock-paper-scissors with yourself in the mirror.
You say mystery bruise, I say drinking badge of honor.
I may be crazy but I say if you can`t talk to yourself, who can you talk to.
Pillow forts have no age limit when you’re awesome.
I think I speak for everyone here when I say "I haven`t the slightest idea as to where my life is headed"
Sorry, I can`t delete any of my voicemails cause then people would be able to leave me a new one
Not to brag or anything, but I don`t need alcohol to make really bad decisions.
Those days where you don`t take anyone`s sh!t ... Yeah, today is one of those days.