Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Its weird that goldfish will eat other goldfish but wont eat goldfish crackers. Life sure is complicated sometimes.
“I don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
I don`t ever need to go sky diving or bungee jumping. Leaving a pizza in the oven while I make a quick run to Walgreens is about all the adrenaline rush I can handle.
I hear Internet Explorer 10 is going to allow you to download and install Firefox up to three times faster.
Studies show that 5 out of 6 people enjoy Russian roulette.
I still believe in love. But I also believe in sasquatch, nessy, and that I could win the lottery. So there`s that....
So I was thinking... We should get drunk and make bad decisions.
Fellas.....the girl on the flyer is never at the club
Sweetie, if your gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty!
The nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever so I can rest medicine didn´t work. I´m going to try 1 bourbon, 1 scotch and 1 beer instead.
First, Ray Rice. Now, Adrian Peterson. The prison football league is going to be off the chain this year.
"I`m tired of you pushing me around and talking behind my back." ----people in wheelchairs probably
Nothing says love like hearing a toilet flush on the other end of the phone.
People without kids: I`ll never yell at my kids ... People with kids: I DONT KNOW WHY SOMEONE SPIT THEIR GUM ON THE ROAD, JUST WALK!
I’m so glad I was young and stupid before there were camera phones.