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Geez. I make one little mistake and my pharmacist now adds "by mouth" on the prescription label.
One thing`s for sure when I shower with my boyfriend. My titties are spotless!!
"Probiotic" sounds a lot better than "bacteria infested"
"It`s cold!", "Happy birthday!", "I`m so blessed", "Political rant!"... There, now you don`t have to go to Facebook today. You`re welcome.
I wish there was an observation deck at WalMart.
If Trump wins I`m leaving the country. If Hillary wins I`m leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
Had a nice, relaxing weekend. I now have ample energy to hate Monday and most of Tuesday.
If someone doesn’t stand up to let you pass them in movie theater seats, it’s totally cool and legal to fart in their face as you walk by.
All shoes are technically buy one get one free.
If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other
you can´t drink all day if you don´t start in the morning
F*ck you, regular cars that look like police cars. Also vice versa.
Yeah, I was gonna do that, but summer.
The inside of my fridge: evidence that I’m still not a real adult.
There are 2 kinds of coworkers. The ones who keep iPhone 5 chargers at their desks and the ones whose names I don`t know.