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I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
My dad taught me righty tighty, lefty loosie.... that`s why I never dated left handed chicks.
I am dealing with it like an adult! Tonight I`m getting drunk!!!
If you sneeze near an atheist, they just say "science appreciates you".
I hate it when I write a sarcastic Facebook status and someone who doesn’t speak sarcasm has to comment and ruin it.
There’s really no reason to repeat yourself. I ignored you just fine the first time.
You seem like a sweat person. Mind if I lick you to find out?
When I was younger I thought I was bipolar. Turns out I was just an a$$hole who was happy about it.
The girl on the flyer is never at the club.
Ladies first. Because it might be dangerous.
Saying "cool" also means, I don`t give a sh!t.
I had my Crayola guy re-run the numbers,,, and there`s only 36 shades of grey
That one day of fame on Facebook because it`s your birthday.
Help I`m covered in chameleons & no one believes me
Hey you! Yea you ... Don`t just pass by my status and not say hi.