Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I hit a new low today and used a cheat code on Wii Fit
I`ve been spending so much time on Facebook, that I forgot the internet has porn.
Hell hath no fury like your kid catching you throw away ANYTHING, EVER. I smuggle out broken crayons like a Mexican drug lord..
My wife wants to have more kids but I don`t want to have to learn anyone else`s name.
Some people should be ticketed for wearing spandex
Love means never being able to like another girl’s selfie on Instagram ever again.
Life gets expensive when you trust a cute woman.
No toilet paper.. goodbye socks
I bet it’s pretty hard at a mime’s funeral to figure out when the moment of silence is over.
It must be really hard to judge wet t-shirt contests. I saw one recently, and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
I have an amazing psychic ability to find objects just before people lose them. Unfortunately, the police call it theft.
All my life I thought air was free… and then I bought a bag of chips. ^^
When a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $4.95 a minute.
My favorite exercise is somewhere between a lunge and a crunch. It`s called lunch.
How many days in a row do you have to wear the same clothes until you’re legally a cartoon?