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Summer vacation: Where you drink triple, see double and act single.
Pretty fed up with the fact that pandemonium almost NEVER involves pandas.
I`m having fruit salad for dinner, well, it`s mostly grapes...crushed grapes ...ok, it`s wine, I`m having wine!
Consumer confidence is at an all time high, and so am I.
My dog reminds me of my ex. She doesn`t pull her weight financially and she`s scared of the vacuum.
Today in my local cemetery I came across the grave of Arthur Wynne the inventor of the crossword puzzle. For those that want to know where he is buried it`s 6 down and 4 across.
People are obsessed with the front seat of the car but when you get in a bus, you go straight to the back
Once a month, women go completely crazy for about thirty days.
Saw my ex with another guy at a bar last night. So I ordered a beer, took a few sips, walked over to their table, gave her date the rest of my drink and walked away... #leftovers
The only sit up I do is the one I use to get out of bed.
Just heard about this teacher who had sex with her student. Another reason I won`t send my dog to obedience school
I`d be the stripper that got fired for eating her way out of the cake instead of jumping out of it.
Expect nothing and you`ll be impressed every day.
Does anyone else wonder why naked and baked, 2 words that go together SO well, don`t rhyme?? ...I mean, who comes up with these words anyway? lol
The “Slow Children Playing” signs always make me sad. Would it cost that much more to thrown in punctuation?