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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Most problems can be solved with nudity
Legally,ItΒ΄s questionable. Morally,ItΒ΄s disgusting. Personally,I like it.
"He sure seems like a nice young man" is Grandma-speak for "I`d totally hit that."
If pigs could fly.. Would I be able to get high on bacon?
You laugh because I`m different ........... I laugh because I farted.
"2, 4, 6, 8!! Ride my face let`s fornicate!!!" And with that, HR banished me from all future employee picnics.
YOU KNOW WHY!!!!!!!!!!
Next time you fill out a job application and it asks about military service, it is best not to mention that you`ve gone Commando a few times in your life.
I`m more of a "the glass is half shattered into a million tiny pieces" person.
Are you supposed to get an email that says β€œHAHAHAHAHA” after signing up for Match.com?
why don`t we get discounts for ringing up our own groceries in self checkout?
If the breakfast club took place now, all those kids would just be silently texting about their sh!tty Saturday & never make friends w/ each other.
Me: Mom...Dad. I`ve decided to live on my own from now on. Parents: ok, cool. Me: Your luggage is outside
7.1 billion people in the world. 0 willing to lower their standards and date me.
If you enjoy being the 10,000th person to put your thumb into a hole, then bowling is for you.