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Society has put an unnecessary amount of effort into the advancement of yogurt.
You just don`t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.
I got called pretty today! Well actually the full statement was "you`re pretty annoying!" But I only focus on positive things
I came across 3 snakes while mowing the yard today, but those of you in North America already know that because you heard me scream
Roses are red vilouts are blue your moms beautiful what happened to you!
Every day is a struggle between wanting to lose weight and wanting to eat my weight in pizza.
When I see people drinking at 11 am on a Friday I`m like, where do you work and are they hiring?
My wife was out of town, so I had to run the morning routine by myself today. I learned a lot. For example, apparently I have two kids.
The best sign of a healthy relationship is no sign of it on Facebook.
One things for sure, I can always count on my fingers.
I don’t love being single but I do love being happy.
I knew we were gonna be friends when you ran into that wall.
I saved over $1000.00 on Black Friday. I stayed home and didn`t shop.
Just read an article about a new species of spider in Sri Lanka that is the size of an average human`s face. In an unrelated matter, I have decided to NEVER visit Sri Lanka.
"It`s not you, it`s me." -Twins looking at some family photos.