Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When life gets you down, just remember: It’s never too early or too late for a nap.
Just give me coffee and no one gets hurt.
Well...today is the day. Just gotta build up the nerve to tell my dog she is adopted.
If you were home alone in the middle of the night, and you heard a fart, would you laugh or be scared.
Very few things upset my wife. So, it makes me feel rather special to be one of them.
Drinking coffee is a fun way to become dependent on paying money to wake up.
"It gotten SOOO cold in D.C., politicians have their hands in their OWN pockets!"
I enjoy a glass of Wine each night for it`s health benefits! The rest of the bottle is for my flawless dance moves, and to make you look more appealling!
It’s funny how 1 text, 1 song, 1 mistake, 1 lie, 1 truth, and 1 person could change your mood in 1 second.
The older I get the earlier it gets late.
When I have a yard sale I play the theme song to Sanford & Son with a boombox on my porch.
I`d like to thanks all the girls for wearing yoga pants. It is the only reason why we`re not complaining about how cold this winter it
With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything.
Ask not what your father can do for you, but what you can do for your father. Happy Fathers Day!
I like when job applications have a “Some College” option so they know I’m an aimless loser.