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Decaf only works if you throw it on people.
Sometimes I don`t go big just so I can go home.
Are you free tonight, or will it cost me?
If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me to grow up, I could probably afford a whole arsenal of Super Soakers.
I love long walks on the beach under the moonlight, poetry, candlelight dinners, and having my a$$ spanked with a fuzzy slipper.
WARNING: Objects in profile pics are not as pretty as they appear.
I use awkward numerical range description anywhere between 13 and 4 times a day.
If the world dosen`t end on the 21st, I sure do have a lot of MREs to gift wrap.
My Ex updated her status to "standing on the edge of a cliff" So I "poked" her!
I was just thinking…Then I thought “why?”... So there will be no more thinking today.
The key to a successful relationship: Tools > Internet Options > Clear history.
The more I drink the better my Idea`s seem to get.
Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.
If by cat person you mean I like to sleep all day and poo in sand then yes I am a cat person.
Irony is paying a therapist to listen to how you don’t like talking to other people.