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The human body is roughly 60% water. I`m not fat, I`m flooded.
I`d be amazing at life if I was only asked to sit and play on the computer all day.
I`m first world poor. That means I have a smart phone and laptop that I use to go online and see that I have no money in my bank account.
"You have the right to remain silent so as not to incriminate yourself." ~5th Amendment, understood by nobody on Facebook.
If you have attention deficit disorder, throwing boomerangs isn`t for you.
I just stepped on a cornfkake does that make me a cereal killer ?
likes beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate major events such as the my birthday or the fact that that it`s Monday.
I`m not a gamer, but I can be as lazy as one.
More celebrities should donate blood. I mean, imagine having the blood of Will Smith running through your veins.
Dating Tip: If she hasn`t kissed you by the third date, she`s there for the food.
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was ugly, I`d be broke as hell because I`m a sexy beast!!
Smile. It makes people wonder what you´re up to.
I plan my entire day around the possibility of a nap.
My Facebook movie is already in the dollar bin at Walmart.
You could pleasure me just by walking away.