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I`m an outdoorsy kind of guy, I like to drink beer outdoors
Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
When I see you in hell I`ll still ignore you
I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.
Boy if these walls could talk I`d be like "HOLY SH!T TALKING WALLS"
Why was the cat in the bag in the first place?
I`m just doing what the beer tells me to.
Tired of those Political Ads on television?...... You may be entitled to compensation.
My wife said if this gets 100 likes, we`ll try butt stuff........ * Please DON`T like,,, her strap-on is big and scary.....
The next time you feel you`re worthless.... just remember.... your organs are worth a LOT of money on the black market.
Funny word combinations :Clearly misunderstood, Exact estimate, Small crowd, Act naturally, Found missing, Fully empty and above all ... Happily Married
Sometimes I think I`m pretty cool but then I remember plants can eat sun and poop out air.
The difference between me & normal people is the normal
Sometimes you run into people who just make your day more bearable. Those people are called bartenders.
9 of 10 voices in my head telI me I `m crazy. One hums ...