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I hope Mexico doesn`t raise the cost of Tequila to pay for this wall.
Last night I saw a documentary about beavers. Best dam show I ever watched.
The reason good men are hard to find is because they`re usually too busy working.
Lake Superior really needs to lose the attitude.
I am dealing with it like an adult! Tonight I`m getting drunk!!!
It`s hard to trust humans; even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
Laughter is the best medicine (that my insurance is willing to cover)
There should be an energy drink named 6 AM child
Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think “look at all these poor people who don’t know Netflix exists.”
So far, I`ve had exactly "call my ex" number of beers tonight!!!
Story of my life : 1. i wake up .... 2. i go to school.... 3. i see a girl .... 4. i run to her and kiss her.... Actually, the right order is 2,3,4,1 ..
Funny how people get all angry when you break something of theirs that they don`t ever use. Like turn signals with a baseball bat.
If buying new underwear is evidence of an affair, my husband has been faithful for at least nine years.
I would be a terrible stalker because A) I`m not motivated enough B) You would always hear the rattle of peanut m&ms behind you.
Instead of spending $2,000 on a purse, some of you ladies should use the money for therapy sessions.