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I`m an organ donor, but I`m pretty sure all they`re going to use my liver for is "after" photos.
I used to have a tremendous sex drive. My girlfriend lived 150 miles away
I can walk up to any dog, rub its belly and make a friend ... That trick rarely works on people.
Marriage is like friends without benefits.
You are here: X
I might not be "Smarter Than a 5th Grader", but I can buy booze! Booyah!
I have reliable inside information about Apple`s next product. I will not be able to afford it.
This fly in my car is going to be very disappointed when it ends up at Walmart.
If you people knew how expensive, time consuming and hard this stalking stuff is you wouldn`t freak out every time you see me in your bushes.....geesh
is running out of excuses for the stupid things I do. Please submit suggestions below.
On the bottle of mouthwash it says "24 hour protection", so why do the directions say "Use Twice Daily"?
No thank you, I don`t need a coaster. I won`t be putting my drink down.
I`d rather SH!T in my hands and clap!
Friday Night Inspirational Message: You miss 100% of the shots you don`t drink.
I’m thinking there’s some type of filter that prevents normal people from like my page