Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I always stop to help women broke down. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how a good porno starts off!
I tried to log in on my ipad. Turns out it was an Etch-a-Sketch and I don`t own an ipad. Also, I`m out of vodka.
I`m the kind of crazy you weren`t warned about because no one knew this level existed.
The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains is great news for stupid people.
Is there a 5-second Rule for when you drop babies? ...Asking for a friend. JK people!!! LOL ;)
Pretty sure I look forward to my boss` vacation`s more than he does.
Did you know, the designated driver is usually the guy having the most luck with the ladies.
I`m awesome...just ask me...!!!!
Can someone make a voodoo doll of me and send it off to the gym?
I`m sending a whole bunch of emails to random Nigerians letting them know they`ve won the Canadian lottery.
Its so hot I used my blow dryer as a cooling fan!
I`d like to help you out ... Which way did you come in?
I`ve got a lot to unlearn.
Something about summertime brings out the beer guzzling Homer Simpson in me.
The "Beware of Cat" sign posted outside my house doesn`t seem to be having the desired affect.