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wonders how you can knock sense into someone when you`re beating them senseless?
Just got back from a vacation in Nevada...turns out that money can by you love.
great minds and dirty minds have something in common, they think alike
Why does the girl in the Wendy`s commercials have Ronald McDonalds hair?
CNN needs to reevaluate the use of Breaking News. Perhaps "Latest Speculative News" or "We Really Don`t Know Shit" would work. CNN call me.
Are you always this stupid? or are you just making special effort today...
"I have no idea. Why don`t you just Google it?" —My answer to just about every question I`m ever asked
Being normal? Ugh. I can`t imagine how awful that must be.
Oh, I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I kept to myself.
It`s never going to work out between Mario and the Princess. Most of the time she`s on a whole other level.
Before telling me to listen to my heart you may want to check that it isn`t telling me to kick you in the shin!
You can always tell a lot about a woman the way she pours gasoline around your car.
Some girls post the most depressing love sh!t that even I`m starting to miss their ex!!!
Facebook is a lot like a fridge. When you`re bored you keep opening and closing it every couple of minutes to see if there`s anything good, but nothing ever changes :b
The other night, I posted on Facebook I was going to sleep shirtless. The next day I logged on and saw 7 mosquitoes "like" this.