Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Behind every strong woman is a man that she needs to open jars and get things off high shelves.
I would like to discuss tennis but I wouldn`t want to cause a racket
Not to brag, but I can spend hours coming up with reasons not to do something that takes 5 minutes.
It`s not a mental breakdown if the police wasn`t called.
Scientists uncovered the part of the male brain responsible for pissing off women. It’s next to the part that knows how much roses cost.
Sometimes putting on pants is the hardest part of my day.
The doctors say im going to be ok. I must warn you the dyson ball cleaner has a very misleading name.
No way the guy from Operation is insured for any of those ridiculous medical procedures.
If you`re ever held at gun point, just remember, I`m behind you 100%.
I read Facebook for the pictures.
I hate when I accidentally eat everything in sight.
Picking up someone at a bar when you`re drunk, is like going to the grocery store hungry... You end up taking home crap you didn`t want
When one door closes it`s probably because someone shut it.
There is no vulnerable feeling like when you are about to sneeze ... with a mouthful of rice.
Don`t take nude pics. Problem solved.