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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
Your baby looks the same as it did yesterday. Me, commenting on a Facebook picture.
All sex is safe sex if you keep your bright orange reflective vest on.
Science is just a numbery way to explain magic.
You’d think β€œattractive neighbor leaves curtains open” would appear in more real estate listings.
You hate me? I didn’t even know you existed.
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs.....But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
Roses are red, violets are blue, If i had a brick id throw it at you.
is accepting applications. Needed someone to keep me from doing dumb stuff. See previous post.
The older I get, the more I enjoy being bored.
Don`t forget to get your hurricane glasses before looking at it.
Divorce... The most common home improvement project.
So I met an Egyptian ... they walk just like us.
Cops are allowed to tell women they have the right to remain silent, but when I do it I wind up with a fork in my leg.
Remember before you give the finger from the safety of your car, not everyone has a schedule to keep.