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I am a very tolerant person until you think differently than me. Then I act like a spoiled little brat.
I need a new refrigerator ... There`s no food in mine.
Ever met a boring and stable girl who was good in bed? Exactly.
Royal baby was born at 8 pounds. Thats like 12 dollars.
Let`s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.
I swear my bed just whispered "Please Don`t go."
If at first you don`t succeed then maybe you just suck.
Bowling is my favorite sport because you don`t have to run and there`s beer five feet away.
Don`t feel bad, alot of people don`t have talent either
Ever look in a mirror wondering about the stranger staring back & then realize it`s your neighbor`s window and they`re calling the cops?
I don`t hate you, it`s just, if you were on fire. I would roast marshmallows.
Do you think the dude that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
Hell hath no fury like a hungry me.
No one your age has any idea what they`re doing either. No matter what age you are.
Ever noticed that `beer can` in a british accent sounds exactly like `bacon` in a jamaican accent?