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Hey ladies, I just love "Austrailian" kissing...it`s a lot like "French" kissing only Down Under!
Just got in 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick an ice cube up off the kitchen floor.
My girlfriend called me lazy the other day. I almost responded.
Why do people post pictures of missing people on facebook?...like we are going outside.
I`m so broke right now that if someone tried to rob me, they`d just be practising..
My problem is that all food is comfort food
25% of of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. The other 75% are running around untreated.
Girl rule. A girl will only compliment another girl that is uglier than they are.
It`s always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones. I always say, "I love you" and they`re like, "thank you for choosing Domino`s."
I can`t really walk the walk, or talk the talk. But, if you need someone to drink the drink, I`m your man!
I like to say my kid handles funds for a multi-billion dollar corporation. It`s easier than saying he is a cashier at McDonald`s
Truthfully, I`d like you all a whole lot better if you were bacon.
Today has been approved by both my middle fingers.
Why do people at home on TV have their pants on?
They say love is in every corner… Then my life must be a freakin’ circle.