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Ha! Who`s laughing now, f*ckers that took your Christmas lights down last year!
Happy new years, my friends. Thanks for supporting the site, Ralf.
“Have you tried just drinking ALOT of vodka?”- me as a therapist
Got bored today so I dressed up in tan pants and a blue shirt then went into Best Buy and quit.
Did anyone else ever wonder why the Easter Bunny gave away chocolate eggs? Last I checked, bunnies don’t lay eggs. What kind of sick new species is this?
I`ve probably spent a solid year of my life just staring into the refrigerator
I like to keep bartenders on their toes by making up drinks on the spot. "Yeah, I`ll take a Dirty Hammock."
It`s amazing how much us guys complain about women and then fully trust them with our pen!ses in their mouth.
If a picture is worth a thousand words then why does everyone only buy Playboy magazines for the articles?
There`s been a whole lot of office Romance since I became self employed...
People who cook Hot Pockets in the oven, Where are you getting all this free time?
My therapist told me I`m nuts. I said "I wanted a second opinion." She said "Well ok, you`re ugly too."
Question everything...Or should you?
Missing my childhood super-powers, when I could sleep on the couch and wake up in bed.
They say 15 minutes of exercise every day will add 3 years to your life. The problem is that it adds the 3 years to your 80s not your 30s.