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Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
A yawn is a silent scream for coffee!
If you ask me, every Friday is a Good Friday.
wishes life would hand me lemons especially today.. that way I`d have something to throw at the people that are pissing me off
The perfect time for a snack is while you’re waiting for another snack to finish cooking.
I think I`m gonna glue my thumbs to my nipples and pretend I`m a T-Rex.
Most meteorologists are men. That`s why when they say we`re going to get 6-8" of snow, we only get 2 or 3.
I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
The three most terrifying words a woman can utter to a man are "notice anything different?"
It`s hard to feel sorry for people when they get what they deserve.
Some of you ladies need to ease up on the makeup until we get this clown situation resolved.
Remember when phones were stupid and people were smart? hmm...
FYI....just in case something happens.....The cashier at the liquor store down the street is my emergency contact person.
Whoever invented grass must be a billionaire that stuff is everywhere
I don`t know why you are complaining about your appearance, your personality is even worse.