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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Giving my wife a bikini wax for the first time. Should I wake her up or just let it be a surprise?
Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.
I’ve been a sucker for boobies since the day I was born.
More often than not, the excitement of a Facebook friend request dies upon discovering who it is.
so I got really drunk last night, but I was good and took a bus home. the only problem I have now is I dont remember where I put the keys to the bus.
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
Commence six months of the clock in my car being wrong.
Please drink responsibly this weekend and don`t drink and dri......Wait this is Facebook, most of you probably won`t leave the house! ... Good talk!
I mean if men are better at math why do they get the lenght wrong all the time.
I don’t need a reason to do stupid things, just a venue.
Not to get technical… but according to chemistry alcohol is a solution.
I`d like to test the theory that money can`t buy you happiness.
Relationship status: running out of films on Netflix.
Most people are lucky they can’t hear what I’m thinking.
There damn well better be strippers & beer at my intervention because there is no way in hell I`m sitting through that sober!