Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Technically it was Moses that had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
My imaginary friend is bullying me.
A Girl Scout made headlines when she sold cookies outside a Colorado pot shop. There’s no word on how she plans to spend her first million.
This empty wallet looks like I`ll be laughing obnoxiously at some guy`s awful jokes in a bar tonight.
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of planes.
You can learn a lot about a woman by watching her load a gun.
The weekend is just a bittersweet memory.... I won`t cry because it`s over, I`ll smile because for a few miles they believed I was the real bus driver.
the `real` me doesnt do facebook
Updating my status in the car. Don’t worry, I’m in the passenger seat. Which makes it harder to drive, but fools the cops.
I`m as bored as a guy with no arms looking at porn.
You think seven years is bad for breaking a mirror? Try breaking a condom.
If your parachute doesn`t deploy don`t worry, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
You know what the trouble with jogging is...by the time you realize you`re not in shape for it, it`s too far to walk back.
Everyone hates performance enhancing drugs. Yet, everyone loves Captain America.
I`m surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I`ve dropped my phone.