Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When I was a kid they didn`t call it "Behavioral Disorders", They called it "Being a little brat".
Remember that there’s always someone cooler, smarter, stronger or prettier than you. That would be me.
My therapist cries "Why me?" for the full hour.
After opening this month`s electric bill, I am no longer scared of the dark.
i hate it when other people hate the person i hate!!!
Scientist Proved That There are more Than 124786534688644478 People Living In This world who are Too Lazy To Read The Above Number...!!!
If there was an award for most pessimistic, I probably wouldn’t even be nominated.
I`m a crabby a$$ bitch before my coffee ... and after
Your girl always on her knees. What she forgot she had feet?
when I`m quiet, strangers look at me and think I`m shy. People who know me think: OMG! he`s thinking! EVERYBODY RUN!
Porn & love songs. Destroying reality forever.
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
My wife says I should use the term "make love" instead of "f*ck.". What the make love is she talking about?
Remember before Amazon reviews when you could just buy a toothbrush without 6 hours of research?
I hate when I’m walking into the gym and the wind blows me into the liquor store.