Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"Love is all we need."-Said a wise man 40 years ago. He obviously has never had a computer
My girlfriend thinks I`m a stalker. . . . well. . . she`s not exactly my girlfriend yet.
Just realized the laundry detergent has been in the refrigerator for 3 days, in case you`re looking for a business manager.
Spilling a full beer you paid for is the adult equivalent of letting go of a balloon.
After 20 years of marriage, my wife still makes me smile. At least for the pictures...
I love it when I Google something I should know the answer to and find out 308 people are just as dumb as I am.
You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of America wouldn`t notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
All shoes are technically buy one get one free.
I just saw a disclaimer that said “don’t try this at home”, so I tried it at my neighbors house.
"Latte" is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.
no one is perfect thats why pencil have eraser
Word of advice. If your wife or girlfriend ever asks "hypothetically speaking, if I was to arrange a threesome for your birthday, which of my friends would you pick to join in?" Never give two names......ever.
My 17yo pretends he doesn`t understand how the washer works when I ask him to do the laundry Congrats, you`re finally a man
what do you mean booze ain`t food!?
Hillary Clinton is running for president. In other news, grass is green and the sun is hot.