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I FINALLY "friended" my girlfriend on Facebook.. You know.. So I could get updates on our relationship status.. :|
Why do people with really bad breath always want to tell you secrets?
It`s a beautiful Spring day to get outside and stare at your phone.
Why is it that when my wife refers to her friends as "girlfriends" its normal but when i call my male friends "boyfriends" i lose my friends?
Here hold my dignity, I`ve got some sketchy shit to do.
Nothing says I have faith in God like the bullet proof glass on the Pope`s car.
Drinking Game: Tape a fake mustache to your TV. Drink every time it lines up with someone`s face.
People would believe everything I say.. if it wasn`t for everything I say.
So far I’ve spent most of 2014 flipping off the weather channel.
am I the only one who would beat the sh!t out of someone for wearing a "forever lazy" to a tailgate?
Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck.
Duct tape can`t fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound.
Today’s forecast.. mostly cloudy with a 99.9% chance of alcohol
I recently added squats to my workouts by moving the beer into the bottom shelf of the fridge.
Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok in a couple days.