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So many rules; so little time to break them.
People that use statistics in everyday arguments are a$$holes 100% of the time.
Dancing in the 70`s: I have absolutely no idea what I am pointing at
that awkward moment when your pulling the covers up and hit yourself in the damn face !!!
I walked a girl home last night, and things got a little awkward at one point when she turned around and found out I was walking her home.
If you`re in your car, go ahead and pick your nose, because the car makes you invisible.
Hi, we`re a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can`t ever find our dog.
I mean if men are better at math why do they get the lenght wrong all the time.
Everyone knows spray tans and Tang come from the same stem cells as Cheetos, so why does Wikipedia keep deleting my edits?
Life is like a box of chocolates. They never last as long for fat people.
Can anyone recommend a few thousand books on hoarding?
Hedgehogs would seem far less adorable if they had more relevant names like `Stabbyrabbit` or `Weaponrat`
This year rather than candy for your valentine why not liquor instead.
The most frustrating thing about watching Nascar is that they never signal
My Christmas present to all of you? I took a naked selfie and deleted it.