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I can`t tell them apart, was that Milli or Vanilli doing the sign language at Madela`s funeral?
I hate it when the credit card bills come in and I have to have sex with my husband.
Now that I`m on Facebook, I can finally put that English degree I obtained to some use…
Car horns were invented 1% for safety and 99% because people get pissed off sometimes and need to let a mofo know.
Just saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster, I had to step in, They couldn`t even lift him, We high-fived & laughed
Show me a bunch of people with type A personalities, and I`ll show you a control group.
"Rise and shine” is probably the most depressing thing a shoeshiner hears in the morning.
B!tch, I will slap you by accident on purpose.
havung sex in a elevator is wrong on so many levels....no mattet what floor your on
Your mother never saw the irony in calling you son of a bitch.
A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early if you ask me.
If Reincarnation ends up being real... Those People who got "YOLO" tattoos are going to look... Pretty Silly
If you love something,, let it go..... That`s EXACTLY what I`ve done with my body....
A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women`s facial expressions. Main reason? They usually aren`t looking at her face.
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you`ll be really far away from me with your motivational nonsense.