Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You cant ask "What do you mean by that?" without sounding pissed off
You know your ugly when the dog has to close his eyes to hump your leg
As I said before, I never repeat myself.
Dear Graduates: Congratulations on making it through the easiest part of your life!
Your boyfriend has long hair too. I sometimes have trouble figuring out who the girl is in the relationship.
The Internet: An electronic version of, "Now, why did I walk into this room?"
My reaction to winning a billion dollars wouldn`t even come close to my 10 year old`s reaction when I told him that there`s no school today.
Never believe a person who claims is telling the truth while holding a pack of beers in both their hands
You`re the one who wore a red and yellow scarf to class. So don`t look at me weird for shouting "10 points for gryffindor" when you answer questions cause I know you wanted this. -Bfanch
It took me quite some time to be this good a procrastinator
Always end a conversation with "gotta run" so people think you`re into fitness
Hate cleaning my floors...how fast would I go to hell if I got a blind roommate and replaced his cane with a swiffer?
When I see a hot girl walking by, I like to look at her and blink very fast and repeatedly so it looks like shes walking in slow motion. Everything is better in slow motion =)
Someone tore off my warning label when I was born.
This year’s box-office revenue is down 20 percent from last summer. I’m not sure why that is, but I`ll bet you there’s a documentary on Netflix about it.