Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Somedays I could do without the life lesson
Difference between men and women: Women can change their mind whenever they want. Men can change their mind whenever the woman wants.
Boobs are to men what laser pointers are to cats.
The best way to scare a man is to use the urinal stall next to him. This works exceptionally well if you are a woman.
The best things in life are free, but they still screw you on shipping.
I don`t mind my long commute, I just hate that it always brings me to work.
Being an adult is basically a "choose your own adventure" book, but every choice sounds terrible.
Come on snooze button, is 9 minutes all you have to offer...I need something in the 2-3 hour range.
"You CAN even."- white girl life coach
If I ever win the lottery and someone asks me for money I`m going to give them a dollar and say "Here. Go play the Lottery. That`s what I did."
Girlfriend: No, you hang up... Me: (click)
The only reason any of us can spell laboratory is because of Dexter.
Just another day of not being rich and famous.
I swear Hollisters electricity bill must be like $1 a month..
I have blank business cards I hand out and call them my “none of your business” cards.