Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My car is so old the high beam switch is on the floor...
This status was brought to you by me being bored on the toilet.
Sometimes it takes me 8 hours to get nothing done.
The difference between cars and whales is that whales can swim and cars can`t.
It isn`t a successful BBQ until an intoxicated idiot runs face first into a sliding glass door. I`m fine by the way.
You’d think that with as much time as women spend looking at their ass in the mirror they would be able to reverse into a parking spot.
I like to take, long, romantic walks, to the fridge. <3
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
When I said I wanted to take it slow, I meant your life.
the only correct answer to are u ticklish? is i have explosive diareha right now
I like to walk around my house naked… Until my neighbors scream at me to go back inside
A dirty mind is f*cking beautiful!
Well, Thanks to SAMSUNG, flat screens are no longer `Flat`.
It usually only takes about five minutes into any conversation I’m having before people start shaking their head and quoting the bible.