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Give Me A Minute While I Pretend To Care!
why does that idiot Charlie Sheen keep winning, and a good person like me keeps losing?
For every bad idea you have, I’m always there to tell you…I’m in.
Is it wrong to tell a knock knock joke to a homeless person ?
I feel like the majority of Eminem`s songs are just him reading from his diary with angry background music.
Lets not get carried away it`s not like McDonalds shutdown
I accidentally called 911, so I set my house on fire so I wouldn`t look stupid.
Zoos would be cooler if you had to fight each animal before you could see the next one.
Reasons to get out of bed: None.
I`m awesome...just ask me...!!!!
You`ll all be sorry when I figure out how to breathe fire.
I try to always be the bigger person by hanging out with a lot of short people.
You should NEVER say and I mean NEVER say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she`s pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at the moment.. :|
We’ll be friends until we’re old and senile. Then we’ll be new friends all over again.
When you are not happy and would like to go back to being young, think of Algebra!