Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just did my budget for August. If I don`t buy food ... I won`t need toilet paper. I think I`m on to something here.
Better pound all these beers so I can get the bottles in the bin for recycling day.
Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called "fun sized" should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.
I log off because I`m bord... I log on 5min later because I`m bord
Coffee is nature’s way of saying “Go ahead, get drunk on a weeknight, I got your back!”
On a math test: 2+2 = ? Me: *Use calculator just in case
Do the spectators at golf tournaments know they don`t have to be there
Just realized I have more in common with Garfield than I have with most people
6 inch - about right, 7 inch - cant complain, 8 inch - f*cking perfect, 9 inch - a bit much, 10 inch - its hurting my insides, 11 inch - I cant take it anymore, 12 inch - I`m absolutely f*cking destroyed ... Aren`t pizza`s just awesome.
Nobody cares what you`re gonna do in 2015. Now post some nudes.
Some people just bring out the psycho in me
This guy at the gym just did four sets of selfies.
I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean if you want an autograph or a picture just ask..!
Two things that most people want. 1. Lose weight 2. Eat
If you’re telling me to relax, it’s probably your fault that I’m not.