Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

When I said make yourself at home, I meant go wash my dishes.
Since there’s only one of me, does that make me an endangered species?
When exactly are they going to make Xanax fit my Pez Dispenser?
When I say "It’s a long story" It usually means I just don’t want to tell you it.
if the shoe fits wear it , if it too tight take it off
My car said "low on fuel"..I replied "low on cash"..I`m still waiting for a reply..
Am I the only one that always puts my wallet back into my pocket before getting my change back?
Don`t you just a hate it when you stumble into bed drunk only to be nagged by someone screaming "Get out" or "You live next door!"
If Facebook changed "poke" to "stab" I would use it all the time.
Some people should use a glue stick instead of chap stick.
I`m all for change as long as it doesn`t directly affect my routine.
LIKE if you talk to yourself and laugh because you’re just that hilarious.
My internet was down for almost 4 mins,im ok but the 911 operator was a total b**ch about it!
Calories? I think you mean delicious points!
If something`s worth doing, it`s worth doing rihgt.