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if its got tits you will get nothing but trouble !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The WWF advert asks, “When the ice goes, where do the polar bears go?” ... Well, swimming, I suppose.
I’m tired of things costing money.
Was the little pig who built his house out of straw some sort of idiot?
Just seen a homeless dude with a sign that said “too ugly to prostitute”
Ever talk to someone so stupid you can hear them misspelling words?
Shake up a random soda pop in the company fridge today. You deserve it.
I was fighting with this guy over who`s lazier. I let him win.
The wife almost caught me browsing on Facebook, but I quickly clicked over to a porn site. That was close.
Apparently, "Giant ones" is not the appropriate response to the question, "What are the steps you would take in the event of an emergency?"
To avoid being eaten by Zombies go to "settings", "public", and uncheck the box that says "Facebook users taste like chicken"
I like how the package for cotton swabs says don`t put them in your ears and everyone in the world is thinking: "WTF else would I do with them?!"
Found a note on my door today that said ”You’re Awesome!” ... Yes, I wrote it yesturday. But still, the truth is the truth.
My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong...and a Tax is a fine for doing well