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I have to wonder why we have "non-essential" government employees in the first place.
I have an awesome idea, but first I`ll need a zebra, bungee cords, jello, and a partner in crime. Any takers?
If your pillow fort hasn’t got an armory filled with Nerf guns, then you’re not really taking pillow forting as seriously as you should be.
I have officially bought the first batch of Halloween candies that will not make it to Halloween.
Don`t do drugs. Become a Pop star and they give `em to you FOR FREE!
If no one comes from the future to stop you, than how bad of a decision can it really be.
whoo hoo...I have new gutters. Please try and keep your mind out of them.
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around.
If at first you don`t succeed, try drinking a shot of Vodka while you do it. You`ll be amazed of how much less you care.
why would i ever pay to go to a nascar event when i could get drunk beside the interstate and cheer for cars for free
I can`t tell if I actually have free time, or if I`m just forgetting everything...
I don`t get why people say "They were busting their ass"? Wasn`t it already cracked to begin with?
I may hate waiting. But I love procastinating.
Not so great minds also think alike.
I`d be the stripper that got fired for eating her way out of the cake instead of jumping out of it.