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If someone is uncomfortable watching you masturbate they; A. Have intimacy issues B. Are frigid C. Should sit somewhere else on the bus
I used to be a terrible flirt ... I am much better at it now.
Punctuality is a waste of time since no one is ever there to appreciate it.
L`oréal`s mascara makes your lashes 60% longer? Wow! They should make condoms.
I sooo did not want to go on a run today but those cops came out of nowhere.
When a pizza guy comes to my door, I like to answer wearing the same uniform as him and holding a pizza.....and then insist that he called me
i like cake. and thats all for today goodbye :)
Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I`m driving.
Top three reasons he doesn`t text you back: 1. He`s just not that into you 2. He`s imaginary 3. He`s a cat
Now accepting friends that live on a lake and have a boat and/or jet skis
Another funny thing about this status is when you finally realize that it talks about nothing? its all ready too late to stop reading. lol
I bought a book called `How to become an expert at Origami`. So far, I`ve made 1000 paper snowballs.
I’m not saying I’m psychic, but I’m positive I will have no interest in what you’re about to say.
For many people, "live and learn" is one task too many.
Why is it when you take a break from Facebook everyone assumes you`re happy and in love ... Maybe I was in jail.