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I`m actually a really good driver, when Facebook is down.
Parents, forget about teaching your kids about the birds and the bees. Teach your kids the difference between their, they`re and there.
Actually I don`t think it would be all that hard to get out of a pickle.
Think about the nicest thing anyone`s ever said about you. Not really true, right?
Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?
Good news I passed my drug test today. But now my drug dealer has some explaining to do.
exactly how long is a cotton picking minute.
I`m at my best mathematically when I wake up before the time my alarm is set for
What if dreams are just glimpses of alternate universes?
Finding a date on the internet is so much easier than real life because how are they supposed to know that`s not your Ferrari?
If a picture is worth a thousand words then why does everyone only buy Playboy magazines for the articles?
If you put a "Student Driver" sign on top of your car, Nobody will ever suspect you of drunk driving.
Some people are grateful for the impact you made in their life…. It’s not me, I think you’re a pr!ck.
I mostly use Facebook to remember why I stopped hanging out with certain people.
They said money can`t by happiness. But it can buy tattoos, car parts, and beer. What else could we need?