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Not every flower can say love, but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus did. Not every dummy can read, but look at you go...
Why don`t prison inmates just use liquid soap?
Girls are like guitars: easy to strum, hard to tune
" I don`t watch much tv" proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
Thanks to the State Farm commercial now I want a Falcon.
I flunked anger management class.
I saw a woman crying as she was buying tampons earlier.....must be going through a tough period in her life....
He is proud of himself. He finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
Someone just told me to "Have a good morning". What about the rest of my day mother f*cker?
People who walk down the escalator. Stop it, we have enough over achievers!
Inventor of camping: "Hey, let`s go pretend to be homeless."
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is my favorite story about how you will get treated like CRAP ... until you have something someone else needs
You know what they say about men with big feet ;)..........We always have trouble finding shoes that fit.
Half of my life has been spent hoping people don’t see me.
The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.