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I put the o in illiterate!
You never know whats going on in your life until youβre f*cked up.
I don`t really want to make bad choices; but I`m always late, and all the good choices are already taken..
Things I`ve learned: There`s no cool way to chase after a bouncing ping-pong ball.
I start to feel really anxious when my work piles up. I never know what to ignore first.
I had cheese, but no crackers ... I was cracka-lackin
Iβve never pretended to be anything Iβm notβ¦except for sober. Iβve pretended to be sober a few times.
Facebook: Wasting peoples lives since 2004
Is it just me that finds it disturbing that you can accidentally make a baby but you can`t accidentally make a pizza?
There needs to be more βdamn it I missed my exitβ exits.
People are way less judgmental when you say you had an "avocado salad" instead of saying you ate a bowl of guacamole.
Iβm at the age where all my posts start with the phrase βIβm at the age where.β
wants to jump in a cab and yell "follow that car!"
You might call it lazy ... I call it selective participation.
Wow, it`s beautiful outside. I should probably do something. Like close the blinds so there isn`t a glare on my screen.