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The most common name In China is Chang, correct me if you think it’s Wong.
The real danger of running with scissors is that a rock might fall on you.
Try sliding down a water slide without running water to realize how important foreplay is
The naked truth is better, than d dressed-up lie :) Aa
For a minute there, I thought I had just wasted 60 seconds...
Hmmmm, thats odd. . . .According to this height / weight chart. . . . I`m too short.
Impressing the McDonald’s drive thru people with my music is always a top priority.
I`m no expert, but I`m pretty sure a lot of economic problems could be solved by extending the McDonald`s breakfast menu back out to 11am.
Currently under the influence of cold and flu medicine...my actions can not be held against me!
My son said he went potty and I asked if it was number one or number two. He said number 7,,, and now I`m terrified to go into the bathroom.
I`m astounded at how fast my "I survived Ebola" t-shirt got me to the front of the Black Friday lines this year..
When people stare at me, I assume its because they are taking notes on how to be a bad a$$ motherf*cker.
Your screenshots of text message conversations tell me: 1. you have a great sense of humor 2. to never trust you
Relationships would be easier if people came with a "Clear History" button.
I procrastinate so much I’ll probably put off death and never die.