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The only problem with teaching little kids to share is that sometimes they want some of my stuff
Honk if you are reading this.
Every time you have McDonald’s as a kid, it’s a victory. Every time you have it as an adult, it’s a defeat.
I fell asleep at the wheel last weekend. My pottery was ruined.
I`m combining Easter and April Fools day this year - I`m sending the kids out to look for eggs I haven`t hidden.
Humpty Dumpty was pushed I tell ya. PUSHED!!!!!!
If I ever post something on Social media sites that`s not funny or clever, That just means someone hacked my account, Just Saying!
Yes, that`s correct. And the horse you rode in on.
OMG, what a day I had. If Monday was a guy, I`d punch him in the throat!
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food
I don`t make a very good first impression, but if you hang around, my forty-third one is pretty cool.
Confuse your coworkers today by telling them you`re going to the restroom to do a "number 3"
I`d divorce my wife but I never want to see her that happy!
I guess the teachers went back to school. The bar was nearly empty this morning.
To the individual who sat outside in their car, across the street from our house, at 530 am and had Led Zepplens Immigrant Song blaring at full volume, I have one thing to say to you! AWESOME CHOICE DUDE!!!!!!!