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I don`t wanna make this weird but that`s just kinda how I do things.
It has been brought to my attention that those stick figure decals on vehicles are not "kill" scores, but actually suppose to represent members of the family. I will be removing all my decals to avoid any further confusion.
People say, “You have to work on a marriage.” I say, “No thank you. I already have a job
My friend is a magician, she can turn anything into an argument.
I can`t get the cork off my dinner.
Don`t sweat the small stuff. Don`t sweat the medium or large stuff either. Stop perspiring on everything. Take your sweaty a$$ elsewhere.
My wife and I decided not to have children. The kids are taking it pretty hard.
pumpkin for sale, slightly used
This year thousands of men will die from stubbornness....NO WE WON`T!!
The police never think its as funny as you do.
Is there a phobia for leaving the house when your phone isn`t fully charged? There should be.
Neil Armstrong lands on the moon: 5 pictures. Girl goes to Bathroom: 47 pictures.
My wife is driving me to drink. I hope she remembers to pick me up when I’m done.
Please be careful on the roads. Lots of people are drinking exsessively and letting their wives drive.
Social Media: Because I like to socialize with cool people without having to speak, wear pants or get off the couch.