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As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I am totally fleible.
When I say “the other day” I could mean yesterday or 5 years ago there’s no in between.
I just wanted you all to know that I’m leaving Facebook. This ride has been a blast and I’ve made a ton of friends who I really do consider friends in the truest sense. Your humor and wit is amazing. I’ll miss all of you, but I’ve decided I need to spend more time with my family. So... see you after breakfast
Sometimes I wonder if that kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught the fish yet.
Do you ever just get a random burst of motivation to clean your house, write a novel, paint a masterpiece or read a book ... Yeah, me neither.
Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! -Librarians arguing
Guuuyyyysssss, never ever play leapfrog with a unicorn.... Its not worth it.....
Its ironic how the colors Red, White and Blue represent freedom... until they are flashing behind your back.
I have a fear of elevators, but I have an even greater fear of exercise.
Hugh Hefner dead at age 91. With the amount of Viagra that guy must have been taking, good luck closing that casket lid.
I`m sorry, we can`t hire you. But your background check was hilarious.
You seem to be very educated on the things you make up.
A spider just tried to crawl across my hand and now Googling how to extract a fork from bone without causing more damage.
Every time my daughter drinks juice she says "cheers" so.... no, not looking forward to parent teacher conferences.
All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.