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LOOK A UFO! Quick, grab the worst camera money can buy.
Why would I buy a pumpkin at the store for $5 when I can drive 30 miles and pay to walk through a field to pick our own for $27.
Sometimes I stand in front of the mirror naked just to remind myself what nobody`s getting.
I bought my mother in-law one of those atomic clocks. I can`t wait for the alarm to go off.
October is breast awareness month for women, men are usually aware of breasts all year round.
If a man repeats everything a woman says, word for word,,,,,,,, is he still wrong?
One time at the beach this guy was swimming in the ocean yelling, "help! shark! help! " I just laughed, I knew that shark was not going to help him.
I`d be so much more successful if some of my ancestors had just married better.
Im 6`1", blue eyes, light brown hair, fit, own my own compa......oh crap, wrong website, sorry.
So bored at work I can`t even think of something to goggle
Don’t ever laugh in the bathroom it will make people think ur playing with yourself
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
I didn’t say “what?” because I can’t hear you. I was giving you a chance to change what you said.
5 symptoms of laziness –> 1.
Odd Fact: The names of characters in Inception are: Dom, Robert, Eames, Arthur, Mal and Saito. Note the first letters = DREAMS.