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I don`t know why you put your boat in Sh!t Creek to begin with.
My therapist cries "Why me?" for the full hour.
I wish I could use Shazam to identify people when I cant remember their name.
A snail can sleep for up to 3 years. I didn`t know it was even possible to be this jealous.
White girls be like: I`ll have one triple mocha dark chocolate ugg boot raspberry white iphone 5 double caramel infinity sign frappe please.
I always advise people never to give advice.
To show my support for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I`ll be giving free breast exams all month. Hit me up if you`re interested.
Joggers always give each other a little nod when they pass, just like fat guys in a buffet line.
I only seem to remember I want to lose weight after eating 6 cookies.
A bunch of us are going out for pancakes when Facebook is over, if you want to come along.
I am convinced that Kellogg`s works for our Government and all that Snap, Crackle, Pop is CODE.......
heyy lol
The problem in general terms is that people suck.
Guns don`t kill people. Fathers with beautiful daughters do. Happy Fathers Day!
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.