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I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science.
You look over-medicated. What`s your doctor`s name?
We have those sticky traps all around the house and I just found one moved clear across the room with all sorts of hair on it....so if anyone see`s a BALD mouse running around, it belongs to me
If women ruled the world, There would be no wars. just a bunch of counties not talking to each other!
That moment when you think you know somebody then they pull out an entirely new bag of stupid.
This Christmas, if you plan on jingling, please jingle ALL the way. Nobody likes or respects a half a$$ jingler.
If you want a successful relationship, find someone who likes the same thermostat setting you do.
I bet every guy would be faithful if God took an inch off his d!ck every time he cheated...
Don’t judge me until you’ve walked a mile with my shoes….shoved up your a$$.
The only stock options I have are chicken and beef.
I have many talents... For example: Sleeping.
People don`t call each other jive ass turkey enough nowadays.
How easily you`re offended is directly proportional to how dumb you are.
Hope dogs are kissing us and not trying to see if we started tasting good yet.