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People say, “You have to work on a marriage.” I say, “No thank you. I already have a job
Redneck word of the day : Asphalt. It`s your own dumb asphalt !!
People that say “money doesn’t buy happiness” obviously have never been divorced.
Im not sure Im comfortable with the fact that there is now a bunch of people in white coats furiously scribbling notes behind a big glass window while im talking to my therapist. Im suppose to just "ignore" them.
I don`t really care who wins the elections as long as everyone had fun out there.
If I`ve learned anything from Facebook, it`s that you shouldn`t be learning on Facebook.
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 10% of battery remaining.
For the love of God, single people, stop looking for love or you`ll end up married.
Rap Music is like Scissors…It always loses to Rock.
Why do people with the most to say contribute the least?
The two major causes of depression are: a) having a job, and b) not having a job.
When I`m cleaning my room, 1% cleaning 29% moaning 70% playing with stuff I just found.
I love how television has redefined the word `marathon` to the exact opposite of physical exercise
I am really glad the shutdown is over. I`ll tell you something, it was very lonely being the only nonessential employee who was working.
Friending someone on Facebook and complaining about what they post is like phoning someone to tell them you don’t want to talk to them.