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Hot Pockets: For when you want every bite to be a different temperature.
Watching someone else play a video game is like watching someone who won`t let you join in while they`re masturbating.
I`d gladly eat raw eggs before my workout provided those eggs were inside brownie batter.
why hello there stalker! Enjoying my profile?(=
Have you ever stopped to think, and forgot to start again?
Sad Fact- Boobie traps seldom involve boobies.
Blockbuster sell sweets and ice cream to go with your DVD rental - who the hell wants to rent sweets and ice cream?
The smaller the town, the bigger the sex cult.
DIET TIP: don’t eat chips right out of the bag. Get out just enough to eat until the pizza guy gets there.
If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that`s another weakness
The older I get the earlier it gets late.
Everyone loved Jack-in-the-box as kids. Now I`m older, I like mine in the bottle
I`m not getting married till Pizza Hut allows gift registry.
I`ve always wondered is jellyfish are sad because there are no peanut butter fish.
If something`s worth doing, it`s worth doing rihgt.