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Lets face it we have all tried to get something done before the microwave timer goes off.
The face jewelry is getting out of hand. I saw a guy today that looked like he had done a face plant in a tackle box.
Now there’s Adderall to perk up, Xanax to calm down, Prozac to feel normal. In my day we drank beer for all three.
I may contain scenes of violence, nudity and foul language.
I am currently watching the Holy Grail of horror movies. There are 10 minutes left and the black guy is still alive.
HA! If you think I`M crazy you should meet ME!
I`ll never understand why single women waste so much time on dating websites when there are so many eligible bachelors right here in this adult bookstore.
When people with multiple personality disorders are about to die, whose life flashes before their eyes?
These techno songs last longer than my first marriage
I`d love to have a sex change. Preferably from `none` to `absolutely sh!tloads`.
I have the rest of my life to be an adult.
I always feel a little kinky whenever the lady at Starbucks asks me if I’d like whipped cream on it.
I got in touch with my musculine side today - laying on the couch all day, eating gross food, playing games...
It`s scientifically proven that stress is caused by giving a f*ck.
Putting ketchup on steak should also affect your credit score.