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No one sees you when you`re kind, no one sees you when you do a nice thing, but all will see on you when you fart.
Thank you Super Bowl for reminding all Americans how bad we really are at understanding Roman numerals
I was just chatting with my cat about how being lonely can make a person crazy.
I don`t think I get enough credit for the fact that I do all of this unmedicated.
Some people say a true friend stabs you in the front. I’m gonna go ahead and say a true friend just puts the knife down.
If there`s one thing in this world that everyone can agree on it`s... "Goonies never say die!"
If you can`t celebrate Valentine`s Day with someone you love, forget about it at a bar that you like...
H.A.T.E.R.S. : Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success?
To find out your dolphin name, lick your finger tips and rub a balloon
"I`m tired of you pushing me around and talking behind my back." ----people in wheelchairs probably
It`s not my official job but basically all I do is piss people off.
If you no longer know what day of the week it is, it’s time to get a job.
SAFETY TIP: Lock your doors and windows before bed. By the way, I love what you`ve done with the place.
I assume that a Columbus Day sale means I can just walk into a store and take whatever I want.
I’m trying to read a book about how to relax, but I keep falling asleep