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wants to remind you this Halloween, that as a general rule, don`t solve riddles that open portals to Hell.
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "Oh dear, this is going to take more than one night."
According to physics heat makes matter expand.....therefore I don`t have a weight problem....I`m just hot
I finally stopped caring what other people think. I hope everyone’s ok with that.
I saw something that reminded me of you.. so I flushed the toilet and washed my hands(:
That awkward moment when u start telling a story only to realise no one is listening so you slowly fade out and pretend to have said nothing.
My phone tried to autocorrect "f*cking" to "f*ck king," and I was like hell yeah I am.
Like a glow stick, sometimes we have to break before we shine.
Don`t fall in love, learn how to ruin your life all by yourself.
50% of people believe sex is "the connecting of two people`s souls through two people`s bodies, as one." The other 50% are men.
This would be a lot more fun drunk - Me, to everything.
My house is not a mess. It`s just that everything is on display for your viewing pleasure. Like a museum.
Some questions just answer themselves. Like, sit-ups or pizza?
Not sure if I logged into Facebook or the Cartoon Network.
People who weigh their produce. What`s it like to have all the time in the world?