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Super Bowl Sunday, the one day of the year that DVR`s are used to watch commercials, instead of skip them!
You women may be surprised to learn that making us sleep on the couch isn`t that bad. It`s kinda manly, makes us feel like we are camping......with a really angry bear nearby.
"Probiotic" sounds a lot better than "bacteria infested"
There`s no point in using a big word, when an infinitesimally diminutive one will do.
I pretend I don`t care but deep down I really still don`t care.
There`s a fine line between crazy and free spirited and it`s usually a prescription.
If your drug dealer is always on time he is a cop …
If you`re already in the cop car, I really can`t see how puking in it could make things any worse.
How much time has to pass before grave robbing is considered archaeology?
You know you are in trouble when your mom screams your whole name.
People who say everything happens for a reason should remember that when I punch them in the face.
The only thing my girlfriend blows is everything out of proportion.
If the breakfast club took place now, all those kids would just be silently texting about their sh!tty Saturday & never make friends w/ each other.
You`re only young once but you can be immature forever!
I try not to limit my madness to March.