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The guy below me obviously doesn`t know that R2-D2 is in movies, not television
The only difference between the 13yr old me and the 28yr old me is that my kool-aid now contains vodka.
Dear alcohol we had a deal where you were supposed to make me cool, sexy, charming and a great dancer........I seen a video......we need to talk.
Are you guys sure common sense can`t be beaten into people ? Because I`d like to give it try!
I hate it when you can’t find your phone because you left it someplace stupid like in the car or your non-dominant hand.
During a test..people look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information
"Does this dress make me look fat?"-- Now, what I SHOULD have said was, "No, dear! You are little black dress approved!" but what came out was, "When did your bum move to the front?"
Don’t judge me for things I did a few seconds ago, I’ve changed since then.
If I had a dollar for every time someone has told me to "grow up," I could probably afford a whole arsenal of Super Soakers.
Ahh..Monday, so we meet again ... You dirty bitch!!
Your screenshots of text message conversations tell me: 1. you have a great sense of humor 2. to never trust you
I`m the perfect man if you don`t factor in looks, depth of character, emotional availability, intelligence or financial well being.
I wish people`s voices actually sounded the way they do when their spouse or partner imitates them during an argument.
Turns out having boobs only gets you stuff if you don`t have a penis as well.
"You blew a tranny" means something completely different to an auto mechanic.