Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Edward Cullen is extremely pale due to the lack of light in the closet.
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science.
No children were harmed in making this status. Ignored perhaps, but certainly not harmed…
I like holding the door for people who are far away, you know so they have to run a little.
I`m pretty sure my Internet Explorer “error reports” end up the same place my letters to Santa do.
I’m probably single because I forgot to forward those chain messages from 2008.
I`m looking for a new personal trainer, the last one didn`t work out
Bending over ... preparing to do my taxes.
I like to go on drunk facebook post binges, then claim the next day that someone hacked my account.
People who actually rate porn videos are the unsung heroes of our generation.
Four words that I never want to hear: There is no food.
I took a sexual harassment course today, I think this is actually something I might be pretty good at
I just called to get my credit score and I heard laughing in the background. Sounds like a cool place to work.
I have learned from watching crime dramas on tv when the good guys yell "Federal Agents" at the bad guys, the bad guy always runs. Wouldn`t it be smarter to yell "Prize Patrol" if you really want to catch a bad guy?
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it´s for them?