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I don`t have any "driving the speed limit" music.
Don`t blame me. You`re the one following a 41 year old man who just jumped into his bed like an Olympic athlete because scary monsters.
Sometimes itβs the little victories, like depositing a dollar to avoid overdraw fees that make me feel like a responsible adult.
Im going to a parking lot and put sticky notes on people`s cars saying "sorry for the damage." Then watching the magic.
Now that Microsoft`s Steve Ballmer has bought the Clippers, I wonder if he will release a new version every few years that we all hate.
spank me, its the only way i`ll learn.
Yo! My friend won a trip to China. HeΒ΄s out there now... trying to win a trip back.
I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
A vegan friend on FB said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn`t eat meat... I think if he had to build his own computer he couldn`t whine on FB.
I would rather lie there and accept death than try to get out of a hammock while anyone is watching me.
Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 worth of craft supplies.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that youβre ignorant and make bad decisions.
You`re about as deep as a kiddies splash-pool..
Let It Snow is my favorite song about people who don`t understand how weather works.
When someone hands you a flyer, itβs like theyβre saying here you throw this away.