Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I can alwasy tell when movies do not use real dinosaurs
I have a confession to make. I was born with a rare disease called “Amazing.”
If running away from my problems counts as exercise then yes, I work out a lot.
Some of the best decisions I’ve ever made involved me clicking cancel instead of send.
I told my 4-year-old she couldn`t open any candy yet. So she ate a Tootsie Roll with the wrapper still on it. That kid is a problem solver.
Statistics say that 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea. Does that mean that 1 enjoys it?
I am busier than a one legged man in an arse kicking contest.
Dear Equifax hackers, Please delete my student loan balance, my medical bills and change my credit score to 850. Thanks.
Lol at birds that walk places.
I just responded to a text message with: I can`t hear you, you`re breaking up.
Remember when AT&T told you to "reach out and touch someone" and you ended up with that restraining order? ... Good times!
whenever I take my clothes off the shower usually gets turned on
An empty web browsing history is a sure sign of guilt.
"Sir your phone`s ringing." "Yeah, phones do that."
I felt sorry for the hypnotist I saw last night…he hypnotized 7 guys…then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled F*CK ME ... what happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life