Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Your kid is running around the store screaming at the top of his lungs annoying everyone and I`m the a$$hole for tripping him?
Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
I`m now at the age where if I see a nice nursing home, I make a mental note of it.
If you have attention deficit disorder, throwing boomerangs isn`t for you.
Why did you have to take a half naked picture in front of a full length mirror to show off your new haircut?
Happy Fat Tuesday! Join me again tomorrow on I`m still fat Wednesday
I DON`T HATE YOU,I`M JUST NOT NECESSARILY EXCITED ABOUT YOUR EXISTENCE!
If you see a girl or guy post pictures of their cat you know they`re single.
I am having one of those days where my middle finger answers every question.
Treat your mom to a margarita this mothers day! Remember you`re the reason she drinks.
I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue.
Whenever I start feeling spontaneous, my bank account quietly reminds me to calm the f*ck down. -Bfanch
When in doubt, read Facebook Statuses, you`ll see you`re not the only crazy one around
One problem with auto-correct is that you always end up posting some thong you didn`t Nintendo.
Did you know that if we laid all the facebook account owners end to end around the world. Three quarters of them would Drown? Hmm ....