Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I cant believe I saw a woman wearing slippers in church today! I almost dropped my beer.
I don’t have an attitude problem… You have a problem with my attitude… That’s your problem, not mine.
There’s a wild side to EVERY innocent face.
I’ve never considered myself much of a conspiracy theorist. Then I discovered the letters in Frito Lay could be rearranged to spell Oily Fart- Coincidence?… I think not!!!
No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who just gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch
The only reason they make yellow starbursts is for when someone asks you if they can have one of your starbursts.
Nice meeting you, but I forgot your name as soon as you said it...
So this guy pointing a gun to my face was like: Your money or your life! and I was like: I`m on Facebook, I don`t have money or a life.
Oh, I offended you with my opinion? You should hear the ones I kept to myself.
Due to Global Warming Santa will be giving out Solar Panels to all the naughty kids this year!
Absolutely is my favourite nothing to do...
Dance like no one´s going to put it on YouTube.
I self medicate, therefore you live.
My haters only have one advantage over me. They can kiss my a$$, I can`t.
A secret is what you tell everyone not to tell anyone else.