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Be the reason someone smiles today. Or the reason they drink. You choose your own adventure.
Opposites attract, that’s the trouble with being awesome.
The moment you stop giving a damn is the moment things get easier and better.
Nothing is more dangerous than a woman “gathering her thoughts”.
If I could go back in time I would put cheese on a lot more things.
My mind is exceptionally quiet.... I am suspicious that I am up to something I don`t want myself to know about.
Here`s to ignoring our real problems and getting outraged about something on the internet.
If no one from the future comes back to stop you, is it really that bad of an idea?
Q: What do you call apple-flavoured marijuana? A: iPot
Shout out to people wondering what the opposite of in is.
My brain contains a few things I should know and the rest is just song lyrics.
The decline of civilization started when they stopped putting toys in boxes of cereal.
Here`s a list of things I need you to accomplish without any resources to do them with. -management
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
The problem with coffee is trying to make it when you haven`t had any yet.